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Alkisah tersebutla kisah....
Seorang gadis yang bersuamikan pemain basketball terkenal sedang berdebar-debar
menantikan detik malam pertama mereka setelah majlis pernikahannya.
Selepas majlis dan segala urusan selesai pada malam hari mereka pun masuk ke bilik. Si suami terus membuka seluruh
pakaiannya satu persatu .Apabila baju si suamu terbuka, si isteri melihat sebuah tattoo bertulis "REEBOOK" di dada suaminya. Si suami pun menerangkan bahawa tattoo tersebut dibuat sewaktu ia menjalani kontrak sebagai model iklan produk tersebut.
Tiba-tiba si suani membuka seluar panjangnya, maka terlihat satu lagi tattoo
lambang "NIKE" di pahanya.Si suami pun menjelaskan hal yang sama kepada
isterinya.
Akhirnya setelah semuanya terbuka, si isteri melihat tattoo bertuliskan "AIDS"
pula pada tutttttt si suaminya. Dengan ketakutan si isteri menanyakan tattoo
tersebut. Namun dengan tenang si suami menjawab:
"Tenang sayang, tulisan itu bukan beerti sesuatu yang menakutkan."Setelah
pegang, dan tuuuttttt suaminya tegang dan memanjang maka tulisan AIDS menjadi
ADIDAS...
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Love is blind
A guy went up to his father saying:
"Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl!"
Father: That's great son. Who is it?
Son: It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.. Sandra is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally bummed out, but life goes on, and indeed, a couple of months later ...
Son: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father: That's great son. Who is it?
Son: It's Angela, The other neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister.
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whomever you want. He isn't your father".
Make millions of people very happy!
Najib, Rosmah and Hishamuddin were flying on Air Plane. Najib looked at Rosmah, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000.00 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Stupidity that stinks to heaven
Extract of the TBH Coroner's inquiry between Malaysian Prosecutor and the forensic expert from Thailand.
Abdul Razak representing the Public Prosecutor's Office
Dr. Porntip Rojanasunand Thai pathologist.
Abdul Razak representing the Public Prosecutor's Office
Dr. Porntip Rojanasunand Thai pathologist.
ABDUL RAZAK: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
PORNTIP: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
86 years old joke
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,”Things are great and I’ve never felt better. I now have a 20 yr-old bride who is pregnant with my child.”
“So what do you think about that Doc ?”
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. “I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.”
“So what do you think about that Doc ?”
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. “I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.”
Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
Just Joke
Great Female Humor! After you read the message about the pilots, please find
time to read the quote of the day--it is so perfect.
time to read the quote of the day--it is so perfect.
WHAT IS COURAGE ?
What is the meaning of courage?
> Is it to fight a Bull in a bullfight without any weapon?
> Is it to undertake a cross-country auto trip in a Kancil car?
> Is it to fly a fighter plane in combat?
> Is it to fight a Bull in a bullfight without any weapon?
> Is it to undertake a cross-country auto trip in a Kancil car?
> Is it to fly a fighter plane in combat?
> Is it to undergo open-heart surgery knowing that the surgeon has a drinking problem?
> Is it to practice free fall parachuting?
> Is it to perform a root-canal on yourself?
> Is it bungee jumping, wild water rafting, etc.?
>
> Bullshit. Those are nothing!
>
> Is it to perform a root-canal on yourself?
> Is it bungee jumping, wild water rafting, etc.?
>
> Bullshit. Those are nothing!
>
Difference: Between White and Blue Collar
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of BMW Car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, ? Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind "em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me are doingbasically the same work? " .
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic......
The mechanic shouted across the garage, ? Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind "em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me are doingbasically the same work? " .
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic......
A good joke on what happened during Najib - Queen Elizabeth encounter
Malaysia PM Najib Razak asked the Queen, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient
government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
" Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Najib frowned, and then asked, " But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
" Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Najib frowned, and then asked, " But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
KGB vs CIA
The KGB and CIA get together one day and decide that they will decide the fates of their two agencies with a dogfight. An agreement is made to reconvene in six years with each country’s most vicious dog for the decisive fight.
Confession: Son of a b****
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a b****."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a b****?"
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a b****."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a b****?"
Milking Machine
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.
So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic.
So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic.
An Engineer goes to Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says: "Ah, you're an engineer, but you worked for a high-tech startup company and got rich. You've had too good of a life, so now you can't come in here."
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer is dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer is dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
THE PREACHER SAID:
'If I had all the beer in the world,
I'd take it and throw it into the river'
And the congregation cried, 'Amen!'
'And if I had all the wine in the world,
I'd take it and throw it in the river'
Kisah perjumpaan menteri teknologi sedunia
Pada sebuah pertemuan antara Menteri Teknologi Sedunia di Langkawi. Menteri Jepun, Amerika Syarikat (AS) dan Malaysia sedang ‘mengeteh’.
Menteri Jepun : Kalau anda ke Jepun, anda gali tanah kami, baru saja sampai 7 meter, anda akan temukan banyak chip, rangka-rangka besi, papan sirkit elektronik dan lain-lain. Ini menunjukkan bahawa sejak zaman nenek moyang, kami bangsa Jepun sudah mengenal teknologi robot.
Menteri Jepun : Kalau anda ke Jepun, anda gali tanah kami, baru saja sampai 7 meter, anda akan temukan banyak chip, rangka-rangka besi, papan sirkit elektronik dan lain-lain. Ini menunjukkan bahawa sejak zaman nenek moyang, kami bangsa Jepun sudah mengenal teknologi robot.
The Lie Detector Clock (malaysian version)
An Indian man died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the heaven Gate, Siva the God said, 'Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here.'
Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner.
Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner.
The Perfect Spouse
A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"
The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?"
The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?"
Prospective husband
A mother invited 3 guys to come over so that she can evaluate who her daughter gets to marry. During the event, the 3 guys turn up and the Mother asks the first question:
Tell me, what do you have:
Man A: I have a house, a car and a 5 figure salary job.
Tell me, what do you have:
Man A: I have a house, a car and a 5 figure salary job.
The Lie Detector Clock
A man who passed away last month ascended to heaven.
He stood before St.Peter at the Pearly Gate, waiting the judgement to be banished to hell or to be grant eternal life based on his deeds in life. He stood there, motionless, while wandered his mind to the surrounding.
He stood before St.Peter at the Pearly Gate, waiting the judgement to be banished to hell or to be grant eternal life based on his deeds in life. He stood there, motionless, while wandered his mind to the surrounding.
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