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The KGB and CIA get together one day and decide that they will decide the fates of their two agencies with a dogfight. An agreement is made to reconvene in six years with each country’s most vicious dog for the decisive fight.

The KGB quickly scoured the country for the most vicious and brutal dogs, selectively breeding them into the perfect dog. Rottweilers, pit bulls, mastiffs, they bred them all. At the end of the six years, they ended up with a dog more ferocious than any the world had ever seen – so vicious, that they had to bring it to the fight housed in a steel cage with six-inch thick bars.

Imagine the KGB’s surprise, then, when the Americans show up with a docile looking dachshund. Laughs are had, and the fight quickly commences, the KGB fully expecting it to be over within a matter of seconds. Sure enough, after the first few seconds, the dachshund opens up an unbelievably massive jaw and swallows the KGB’s dog whole.

Shocked, one of the KGB bystanders groaned, “We had our best breeders and scientists perfecting that dog for the last six years. It is not possible that there existed a more perfect fighting dog.”

His CIA counterpart snickered for a moment, then responded, “I know. That’s why we had our best plastic surgeons spend the last six years figuring out how to make a crocodile look like a dachshund.”

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