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Understanding English is Very Important

Ah Chai and his wife go visit a marriage counselor. 

First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. 

The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be 
 the problems?" 

The wife replies, "It's my husband, he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave 
 him if he continues!" 

"How does he drive you crazy?" 

"For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First, 
 whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near 
 anyone. It's very embarrassing." 

The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?" 

"He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public !" 

"Hmm, anything else?" 

The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! 
Once in a while, I'd like to be in control !" 

"Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now." 

So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells 
 him, "Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy and she might even 
 leave you." 

The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and 
 considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be her 

The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are 
 driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public, looking at 
 the floor and never going near anyone else." 

Ah Chai looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things 
 my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he 

"What did he say?" 

"He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!" 

The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do 
 anything that would cause anyone else to get angry." 

The husband looks sheepish, "Oh.That's what he meant. Okay." 

The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public." 

"Well, it’s another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told 
 me to always keep my nose clean." 

The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any 
 criminal activity." 

"Oh," says the husband looking very stupid. 

"And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your 

"This," says the husband seriously,"is the last thing my father commanded me 
 to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing." 

"What did he say?" 

Ah Chai replies: "In his dying breath, he said. "Son, Don't fuck up!"

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