|  JULY  25 — I was not planning to write about Malay unity this week, but after  a little talk I just had with my father, I've decided it's imperative  to underscore yet again the very real effect so-called 'Malay unity' has  on Malaysian society. 
 Malay unity as it is presently understood is fundamentally undemocratic, and fundamentally a threat to Malaysian unity. The  notion that it is not just okay but morally right to prefer one  Malaysian over another because of his or her racial identity undermines  everything that the concept of a Malaysian stands for; it justifies  racism, communalism and separatism.
 
 In the first place, I cannot see why anyone would believe that the Malay community or Malays as individuals  stand to gain from uniting behind one political party or one ideology. Malays  are not a single-minded, homogeneous lot, any more than the Chinese or  Indians are. To ask a Malay to subjugate his own individual beliefs to  the tyranny of the Malay majority is ridiculous, and completely  undermines the democratic right of individual Malaysians, Malay or not,  to freedom of thought and expression.
 
 If a few Malay strongmen believe they can really subjugate their  fellow Malays and fellow Malaysians to the yoke of one single ideology,  one single belief system, they will have to face the consequences sooner  or later. We  know what single-party and single-ideology countries turn out like;  even the few successes like China are forced to tolerate differing  viewpoints, if not  differing political parties.
 
 You cannot force a man to believe  something he does not have his heart in; there is no reason to think a  Malay will stop thinking and stop believing in something simply for the  sake of "Malay unity".
 
 But enough of this focus on the Malays; this is just one side of the  delicate equation as far as national unity and social cohesion are  concerned.
 I want to relate something personal, something that affects untold numbers of Malaysian families, including my own. Many  Malays often wonder why non-Malays are so reluctant to offer this  country their loyalty; hardly any are ever actually serious in their  wonderment.
 
 My mother is not a Malaysian. She  is a Filipino, although with a partial Chinese heritage. My parents met  while they were pursuing their post-graduate studies in Thailand. They  tied the knot two decades ago; they have brought into the world and  raised four children, all of them Malaysian citizens. Over a decade ago,  my parents made the conscious decision to bring their three children  back to Malaysia, and have their fourth born there, because they wanted  us to know our roots. My  mother has lived in this country for 12 years, and spent close to 19  years of her life raising Malaysian citizens; she has learnt the  national language, made Malaysian friends, and settled herself here. If  this is not the loyalty asked of Malaysian citizens, I don't know what  loyalty you expect from us.
 
 For the past 12 years, my  family has made an annual pilgrimage to the Immigration Department, because my mother is not entitled to reside in Malaysia. Every  year, my parents swear before a Commissioner of Oaths that they are  still legally married, and on this basis, they renew my mother's 'social  visit pass' at the Immigration Department. A social visit pass, for the  mother of four Malaysian citizens, the daughter-in-law of another two  Malaysians, the wife of yet another Malaysian, and friend of many more!
 
 A long, long time ago - so long I cannot remember, but about a  decade or so - my mother applied to the Immigration Department for a  permanent resident visa. My parents personally put all the necessary paperwork together, and my mother invested a lot of her time — time which could have been spent looking after her four young Malaysian children, or contributing to the Malaysian economy — in  learning the Malay language. To this date, the Immigration Department  has never even acknowledged receipt of her application.
 
 My parents initially followed up on the application, but were told  by the officers to await an official letter from the Department. They waited.And waited. Ten years on, they are still waiting.
 
 Last year, my mother applied for a Canadian tourist visa. The  process went without a hitch, until we came to picking up her  passport. A Canadian embassy officer appeared and enquired about her  'social visit pass'. My mother confirmed that yes, in spite of  everything, this wife and mother of Malaysians has yet to be allowed to  stay in Malaysia. The officer shrugged his shoulders, as if he were used  to seeing this sort of thing, and replied, 'Okay, just checking!'
 
 On the way drive home, my father reflected on the ludicrousness of it all. If  he were to die, if they were to be divorced, my mother would have no  right to stay in Malaysia, no right to be the mother of Malaysians. A decade on, my family was still waiting.
 
 Fed up with it all, my father decided that if his wife could not  have a home here, he would make sure she and our family could have a  home elsewhere. Two years ago, he applied for permanent residency in New Zealand.
 
 Today, before any of us have even set foot in New Zealand, the Kiwi  government has welcomed us and given us the right to stay and reside in  New Zealand for as long as we like, without any preconditions. We  have no prior ties to New Zealand, and they welcome us with open arms;  my mother has a rich 20-year history with Malaysia, and to this day, her  request to stay here has yet to even be acknowledged.
 
 This story is alas far too common; years ago, my father was warned  by an acquaintance that his wife had waited in vain for 10 years for her  permanent residency to come through. Earlier yesterday, he decided to check with the Immigration Department, just to see if they had ever  done anything about my mother's application.
 
 He got the same brush-off of a reply: "Tunggu suratlah!" As  he left the office, he overheard a Mat Salleh woman berating a young  officer, in fluent Malay: 'My husband is dead already, what should I do  now?  I  have been living in this country longer than you have been alive!' Not  far off, an Indonesian construction worker was conspicuously brandishing  his approved application for a work permit, entitling him to reside  here.
 
 This sort of thing is no bureaucratic accident; this is intentional  racism.This is the product of 'Malay unity'. What good is this talk of  how Pak Lah is selling us out to the Singaporeans by giving them cheap  sand, when right under our noses, the government is selling our  citizenship birthrights out  to any old Indonesian, while denying Malaysians the right to live in  peace with their spouses, their families? When you endorse this idea  that the end of Malay unity justifies the means, this is the result.
 
 I  don't begrudge legal Indonesian immigrants their right to live and work  here; they are doing a job nobody else wants to, and they are often  unfairly scapegoated by a Malaysian society not willing to examine its  own fractures and divisions. But  I have lived for years with the shame of being a citizen whose own  country will not even let his mother stay, in spite of everything she  has done for her Malaysian family.
 
 It's easy to mock people like us for saying things like "I will  never die for this country"; it's hard to accept that this country has  never given people like us a reason to die for it. When  my family migrates to New Zealand, they will not be looking back  wistfully; they will be looking forward to a future where my mother is  not forever in legal jeopardy, forever at risk of separation from  us. The last thing on their minds will be a country obsessed with  small-minded 'Malay unity', obsessed with worshipping its keris-waving  heroes while ignoring the countless non-Malays who gave their lives in  apparent vain for a country which will not recognise the ideal behind  their sacrifice.
 
 John Lee is a second-year student of economics at Dartmouth College in the United States. He has been thinking aloud since 2005.
 
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