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Multipurpose secretary
Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techno-geek.
"Hey, bud, how are ya?"
"I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!"
"Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot!"
"No way, how could that be?"
"Way! She's the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right tit, she types a letter. And that's not all, she can have sex, too!"
"Holy shit! You're kidding, right?"
"No, she's something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her."
So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp" Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! eeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!"
The guy says, "Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!"
Jokes for the day
Intelligent Boy
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students
The teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is inthe third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office.
While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students
The teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is inthe third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office.
While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Nik Aziz: A God-fearing Chinese is more noble than a corrupt Malay
via Malaysia Chronicle by admin@ malaysiachronicle on 12/2/10
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| PAS' no-nonsense spiritual adviser Nik Aziz |
KOTA BHARU - PAS Murshidul Am Tuan Guru Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat (pic) has reminded that a person's race was worthless in the eyes of Islam, and that one was only judged by one's fear of God.
"A Chinese who is fearful of God is far more noble than a Malay who indulges in corruption, oppression, betrayal and so forth. No matter how high the songkok is on his head, without the fear of God, he is worthless," he said in a statement.
First National Conference on Human Rights and the Future of Marginalized and Minority Groups
By Ezra Haganez
KOTA KINABALU:A consortium of three NGOs will be holding a one-day National Conference on Human Rights and the Future of Marginalised and Minority Groups in Malaysia on January 23, 2011.
HINDRAF, Common Interest Group Malaysia (CigMa) and the newly formed London-based Human Rights Foundation Malaysia are collaborating on the first national conference on the topic planned to be held at the Chinese Assembly Hall in Kuala Lumpur.
In a joint statement, the trio issued an invitation to concerned individuals and societies, both in West and East Malaysia, to participate, co-host or present papers at the conference.
R. Shan, HINDRAF International Coordinator (New York), and Kanul Gindol, CigMa Secretary, in a joint statement, said they are inviting all minority or marginalized groups including minority ethnic groups, indigenous peoples, union workers, plantation workers, disabled groups, environmental groups, animal rights group, religious groups or any other such aggrieved minority and/or marginalized groups.
Shooting in Parliament...
By Mariam Mokhtar
Kuala Lumpur, MALAYSIA: During a parliamentary session last week, Deputy Foreign Minister A Kohilan Pillay called vocal overseas Malaysians “traitors” and said they had “breached loyalty to the King and country”.
He told the Dewan Rakyat: “The ministry monitors the behaviour and actions of not only people from the opposition parties but also tourists and those who reside abroad.”
Kohilan Pillay accused these Malaysians of giving foreigners the “wrong perception” of Malaysia.
But hasn’t he shot himself in the foot with his ludicrous charges? Malaysians need not bother dishonouring the good name of the country and its leaders. Kohilan Pillay need only search in his own backyard and judge for himself how his government, principally the Umno faction, has tarnished Malaysia’s good name, both within and outside Malaysia.
Kuala Lumpur, MALAYSIA: During a parliamentary session last week, Deputy Foreign Minister A Kohilan Pillay called vocal overseas Malaysians “traitors” and said they had “breached loyalty to the King and country”.
He told the Dewan Rakyat: “The ministry monitors the behaviour and actions of not only people from the opposition parties but also tourists and those who reside abroad.”
Kohilan Pillay accused these Malaysians of giving foreigners the “wrong perception” of Malaysia.
But hasn’t he shot himself in the foot with his ludicrous charges? Malaysians need not bother dishonouring the good name of the country and its leaders. Kohilan Pillay need only search in his own backyard and judge for himself how his government, principally the Umno faction, has tarnished Malaysia’s good name, both within and outside Malaysia.
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