A young farm lad from Iowa goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way  through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money  his parents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad,"  he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education is coming  up with! Why, they actually have a program here at Iowa State that will  teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!"
 
That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"
Just  send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him into the  course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000. About 2/3 way  through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father  again.
 
So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks.
Awesome,  Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe  this - they've had such good results with this program that they've  implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.
The  boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out  that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
 
When  he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all excited.  "Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read  something!"
 
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday  morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living  room kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like  he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy  still messing around with that little redhead who lives in town?' "
 
The father says, "I hope you SHOT that Son Of A Bi*ch. Before he talks to your mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
The kid went on to be a lawyer..
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